Anti-Aids campaign sweeps hospital floor
A local hospital has begun clamping down on hearing “aids”, walking “aids” and humanitarian “aid” in an effort to promote wellbeing and ward off the Tokoloshe. “We routinely check patients for ‘Aids’”, says Mad Eye Mabathu, the charge sister in ward 18. “We believe that hearing aids cause bad dreams and brain tumours just like cell phones do. Walking aids like this (she motions to a Zimmer frame made from a Checkers trolley and dental floss) promote laziness and bring evil spirits.” She goes on to explain how humanitarian aid is an “insult to all humanities and manatees in the hospital”. Mabathu admits that the new policy originates from a decade old Morse code broadcast from the Department of Health that she intercepted on her clock radio while searching for the latest Kurt Darren treffer. “We conduct random “aids” “raids” when we remember - checking pockets and body cavities for contraband”, whispers Mabathu with her “mad eye” fixed on a tiny crack in the wall.
(Photo submitted by N. Cohen)
